Thelma Thompson – Springhill, FL


Life, with a capital L, along with living, learning, laughing and loving is ageless. Think about it if you will.

Referring to such thoughts, there’s an “Adults Only” story to be told. To the adolescent I say, “Wait! You’re too young to peek into this passionate situation. You’ll learn in due time.”

The scene opens to a very pregnant young woman sitting at a kitchen table in her filmy nightie, and is glancing through a hardback book titled, “Name Your Baby.” She takes a sip of beer and says, “Yucks, this stuff isn’t getting rid of my heartburn. It’s a sure sign my male doctor has never been pregnant.”

Realizing to return to bed, for sleep is useless, she turns to her waiting book. Being adamant about keeping all her children’s initials the same, she has chosen Rhonda as the first name, but needs an L for the middle name. Grandmother’s middle name is Elmira, which she would like to use, but that’s an E, not an L.

“What am I going to do?” she says, while yawning. Overcome by drowsiness, she places her head on her folded arms on the table and ponders her dilemma while dozing.

Suddenly, her head jerks upward, a grin appears, and she says, “I have it! It’s perfect, I’ll drop the E from Elmira and spell it Lmira, Rhonda Lmira. Wow! That’s catchy and clever, I know she will just love that name.”

Is this the happy ending you’re hoping for? No, I’m afraid not.

Shortly after the baby girl was born, the new mother couldn’t believe the unpleasant scowls appearing on her friends faces whenever she repeated the new baby’s name. She knew it was a different, one of a kind, so she excused her friends questions.

Time flew by for the mother and baby. All was going well until Rhonda Lmira attended Kindergarten, then first grade, where she was learning to print her full name. Coming home from school in tears, Rhonda exclaimed, “The kids are making fun of my name! They can’t say it or spell it, and neither can I and I hate it!” A wave of pity emerged from the mother’s very soul for her daughter’s misery, yet she thought to herself, “She’ll get over it with time.”

Did she get over it? Not being T.V., this time the name could not be changed to protect the innocent, so no, I can’t say she did.

While attending high school, constant complaints were expressed to Mom. Around this time, seems the song “Elvira” became very popular on the music charts. To Rhonda’s dismay, her fellow students chanted, “Lmira oompa, oompa,” and taunted her with, “Are you the real T.V. vampire Elmira?”

Desiring a job after high school, her middle name was often questioned as to its pronunciation on many of her employment applications, and to this very day, is occasionally faced with trying to explain her name.

As the daughter is now an adult, the final scene changed to a grey-haired old lady sitting at a kitchen table in a filmy nightgown with the beer remedy for heartburn in front of her. While staring at a blank pad of paper, she is pondering if she should write an apology to Rhonda for the foolishness of her own youth. Placing her head on her folded arms, she reminds herself that life with a capital L, is for living, learning, laughing and loving.

Suddenly, her head jerks upward, and a wide grin appears, “I have it! It’s perfect! I’ll write a book and title it, ‘Tales from Lmira.’ Wow! That’s catchy and clever, I know she’ll love it!”

Does this story ever have a happy ending? As one cannot return to yesteryear and even if I could change part of my life’s music, I will have missed the dance, so I remain all these years and have gained two loving, caring and attentive daughters.

As for Rhonda Lmira, believe it or not, she resembles and acts just like her mother. Look out world! Yes, it really is a happy ending.

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